IT’S A NEW YEAR: WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL YEAR DURING DIVORCE & POST-DIVORCE

For those of you who have gone or are still going through the process of divorce, you certainly might have some doubt as to how you will get through this year and years after.  The emotional and financial impact of going through divorce can be overwhelming at times. However, there are steps you can take in order to not only minimize the stress but to improve yourself and your outlook on life.  Here’s a list of helpful strategies that you can routinely utilize:

  1.  Give yourself time to think and reflect on the situation and don’t be too critical of yourself.  It’s a very natural reaction to overthink certain decisions or events that might have led to the divorce in the first place.  Sometimes you might blame yourself or others for what happened; regret is a common feeling amongst divorcees. Remember that this whole process will require some sort of adjustment period and to be patient with oneself as you process these feelings and thoughts.
  2. Seek professional help in dealing with these emotions.   Some might see this step as being too drastic or time-consuming to even consider.  Therapists see people everyday for a variety of issues; it’s not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards learning how to communicate about what you’re feeling.   It’s never a good idea to bottle up your own thoughts as it might cause you to stagnate and not find solutions to the issues that you’re dealing with. A therapist can help you find long-term strategies to cope with the typical feelings of sadness, regret or hopelessness.  If you don’t want to seek therapy, at least try and communicate your internal thoughts externally either by speaking to friends or family or just writing/typing them out.
  3. Find a new hobby or change something about yourself that you’ve been putting off because of your marriage.  This is a time for you to develop as a person independently. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something substantial like learning how to play an instrument or starting a new career/academic pursuit; it can be as simple as just being more physically active or changing your appearance.
  4. Be social.  Similar to finding hobbies/activities, it’s also important that you get out and engage with the outside world to discover who you truly are.  Your social life will undoubtedly be different without your partner so it’s important to try to fill in the gaps in your social life. This can be centered around your interests (yoga/meditation classes, spiritual gatherings, events in town) or if you feel adventurous be something you’ve never done before like volunteering at local non-profits.
  5. Set goals for yourself both short-term and long-term.  A sense of accomplishment can do wonders for your self-esteem.  Again, your goals don’t have to be lofty but can just be related to everyday self-care (exercise, getting on a better sleep schedule, etc.)

At the Thomas Smith Firm, we partner with experts that have experience in helping divorcees through this transition.  If you need assistance with this process, please feel free to reach out to us at info@thomassmithfirm.com or call us at 215-860-3747.